Judgment Can Masquerade as Description
Some judgments arrive disguised as descriptions. He is selfish. She is impossible. They are immature. That person does not care.
The grammar makes the statement sound like a fact about the other person. But often the sentence compresses an event, our interpretation of it, and a conclusion about character into a single label.
That does not mean every judgment is wrong. People do behave selfishly. Some patterns are persistent. Character matters. The distinction is about accuracy. What did the person actually do? What pattern have we observed over time? What are we inferring from it?
When those layers remain separate, a relationship has more room for evidence. When they collapse, every new interaction is interpreted through the label already assigned. The person may still disappoint us. We may still need boundaries. We may still decide that a pattern is unacceptable.
But we can make those decisions from what we can actually observe rather than pretending our interpretation arrived without us. A judgment becomes more useful when we remember that it is a judgment.