Avoidance can be intelligent.
We should avoid unnecessary danger.
We should leave harmful situations when leaving is possible.
We do not need to expose ourselves to every painful conversation simply to prove courage.
But avoidance has another form.
We keep stepping around something that is already organizing our life.
A conversation we refuse to have.
A grief we keep outrunning.
A fact we will not name.
A decision we endlessly postpone.
Then the route around the difficulty becomes part of the difficulty.
The way out may be through what we are avoiding.
Through does not mean dramatic confrontation.
It can mean acknowledging.
Asking for help.
Getting accurate information.
Feeling what is present long enough to understand what needs action.
Avoidance reduces contact with discomfort.
Sometimes contact is exactly what makes a next step visible.

A reflection on avoidance and engagement: not every difficulty can be bypassed, and some become workable only after we turn toward the experience or conversation we have been avoiding.

We should leave harmful situations when leaving is possible.

We do not need to expose ourselves to every painful conversation simply to prove courage.

We keep stepping around something that is already organizing our life.

Then the route around the difficulty becomes part of the difficulty.

The way out may be through what we are avoiding.

Through does not mean dramatic confrontation.

Feeling what is present long enough to understand what needs action.

Avoidance reduces contact with discomfort.

Sometimes contact is exactly what makes a next step visible.

The Way Out May Be Through What We Are Avoiding