Try Adding Before Rejecting a Suggestion

The first reply

A suggestion arrives and the mind supplies a reason it will fail. The reason may be sound. Yet when every answer begins with a quick rejection, we may never learn which part of the suggestion could be useful.

In “But And And II,” Laurence Platt notices this pattern in a coaching conversation. His contrast between “but” and “and” is best treated as a prompt to inquire, rather than a rule that one word always closes possibility and the other always opens it.

An additive question

Before deciding, try asking: “And what part of this could work?” or “And what condition would have to change?” These questions do not require agreement. They allow a proposal to be examined in pieces.

A firm no is sometimes the clearest, most responsible answer. A suggestion can be unsafe, intrusive, impractical, or simply unwanted. The point is to make the choice deliberately, with the relevant facts in view.

Language and action

Words can change the next conversation, but they do not change circumstances by themselves. If a possibility survives examination, it still needs a person, a decision, resources, and action.

The useful shift is small: make room to test a suggestion before treating the first objection as the final verdict.