Read andreflect, consider, revisit, returnreflectconsiderrevisitreturn

Helping can begin with an assumption about the other person: they have a problem, and my role is to solve it. Sometimes direct help is exactly what is needed. The assumption becomes a problem when their difficulty is also required to make the helper feel important.

Before acting, ask what has actually been requested and what remains theirs to choose. Service can address a need without making the need the whole identity of the person being served.