Independence Can Be a Success That Feels Like Loss
Some successes feel mixed because achieving them changes a relationship we valued. A parent helps a child become capable of choosing, disagreeing, and living without constant supervision. That independence is a success and can still be felt as a loss.
The feeling does not mean something has gone wrong. It may name the end of an earlier form of closeness: the daily requests, the automatic access, the role of being needed for nearly everything. A good outcome can carry grief for what it replaces.
This happens beyond parenting too. Teaching someone to do a task may make our help less necessary. Helping a friend through a transition may allow them to move away. We can want the new capacity for them and miss the old arrangement for ourselves.
We do not have to choose one verdict. The success is real. So is the ache. Naming both makes it easier to welcome the new relationship without asking the other person to become dependent again.