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A reflection on authenticity as social permission: being direct and unperformed can sometimes make it easier for others to become more direct too.

Conversations

Being Real Can Call Forth Realness

Authenticity can be contagious without becoming a technique. Around someone who is not performing an image, our own performance can become easier to notice. A direct person can make evasive language feel more obvious. A person comfortable with uncertainty can reduce the pressure to pretend certainty. Someone who does not constantly advertise their identity can make our own self-presentation feel louder.

This is not proof of a mystical effect. It is an ordinary social phenomenon. Conversations are shaped by what participants make necessary. If one person does not require impression management, the other person may discover they can stop managing the impression as aggressively too.

There is no guarantee. Authenticity can also make people defensive. Directness can become aggression if it ignores care and context.

The useful point is that ways of being participate in the social environment. We do not only exchange information. We make certain forms of interaction easier or harder for one another. Being real cannot force another person to become real. It can make one less performance necessary in the room.

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