When I Don't Know Is an Honest Answer

“Do you believe in God?” sounds like a question with two boxes. Yes or no. For many people, one of those answers is clear and deeply considered. For others, the words in the question need attention before an answer can be honest.

What does “God” refer to for the people speaking? A person, a presence, a source, a particular tradition's teaching, or something that resists those descriptions? And what does “believe” ask of us: confidence in a claim, trust, participation, or openness to an experience?

Asking these questions is not a trick for avoiding an answer. It can be a way of respecting the conversation enough to say what is actually being considered. Two people may disagree about a word before they have reached the belief they think they are debating.

“I don't know” is also an answer. It can be a sincere account of one's limits, rather than a temporary failure to choose a side. It need not dismiss the person who believes, or the person who does not. It leaves room to ask what each has experienced and what each means.

A good conversation about a sacred question may not end with a shared conclusion. It can still become clearer, more generous, and more exact. The willingness to stay with an honest uncertainty is one way to begin.