Right/Wrong or an Honored Place in the Dialogue
When a disagreement begins, each of us can tell a story in which our response was justified by what the other person did first. Our reasons are vivid to us. Theirs are less visible.
Soon the conversation becomes a contest over who is right. Our position may contain truth, but the need to win can make the other person wrong by definition. We begin listening for what confirms our view, and less for what we have not yet understood.
An honored place in dialogue does not require agreement. It asks us to let another point of view be heard without surrendering our own. We can name the lens we are using, ask how the situation appears to them, and reflect back what we heard before answering.
The difference may remain. But the conversation no longer has to be governed by a scorecard. It can make room for clarity, dignity, and movement.