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A reflection on love and communication: feeling love privately is not the same relational act as expressing it clearly and allowing another person to receive it.

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Love Is Also Something We Say Into a Relationship

Love can exist privately. A person can care deeply and say very little. They may assume the other person knows. They may dislike sentimentality. They may wait for the right occasion or for the feeling to become especially strong.

But relationships are not made only from what we feel. They are also made from what becomes available between people. A feeling of love that remains entirely unspoken is not the same relational event as love that is communicated.

That does not mean everyone should repeat 'I love you' constantly or use words they do not mean. Expression without sincerity becomes performance. The useful distinction is between having an experience and making the experience available in the relationship.

Sometimes words do that. Sometimes care is communicated through action, attention, repair, touch, time, or reliability. The medium varies. The question remains.

Is what matters to me actually available to the other person, or am I asking them to live on an assumption? Love may be private in origin. Relationship requires some form of communication.

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